today was one of those oh so deceiving days that start out unexpectedly wonderful & then bam! you find yourself crying with your head against the dryer in the back hall closet of a gym wondering what just happened.
i put up all these strategically placed walls to protect my heart & someone found a secret entrance that i didn't know wasn't guarded. & they got in. & those protective walls? they came tumbling down like i hadn't been laboring over them at all. & they just weren't supposed to do that.
so you find yourself confronting misunderstandings, not able to stop the tears. it seems the more words are spoken, the more tears flow. it's one of those unique experiences where you're powerless to stop someone from seeing your raw pain & it's out there as plainly as if you'd ripped your beating heart out & handed it to them... & they can either walk away or they can....
hug you/apologize to you/talk to you/hug you again/talk more & then everything is ok. so feeling exhuasted but thankful for acceptance & the endless chances given to us, as humans, to be resilient & start over fresh once again, not just with each other, but ourselves too.
& even better? a text message sent to let zane know i needed a hug when i came home & there he is standing at the top of stairs waiting for me with open arms.... reminding me at the end of the day... if i have nothing else in the world- i have my truelove on my side & that makes me feel oh-so lucky.
Of course, my mind is going in a hundred different directions trying to make sense of this whole entry, but thankful that your one true love is there for you. Just tried to call you but no answer. I'll wait til I can talk to you later. Love you
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