"grey & beautiful."

"those are two-words that you don't hear together in a sentence very often." (says my boss)
but does it really get much sweeter than getting to drive to work at 8:30 in the morning & seeing the overcast sky full of electric energy?? hmm. hard to beat for me.

smile

cashier: "i like your ring."
me: "thanks! me too. my husband gave it to me."

=)

sweet sweet saturday

i have been meaning to blog about last saturday for awhile now (ok- well a week to be exact as of today). but time seems to have runaway on me. so this is about last saturday. it was one of those days. one of those unexpectedly wonderful-thank-all-that-is-divine-kind of days.

"i don't need you today baby." these are precious words from larry my boss. typically i might have proceeded to waste my freedom away doing nothing. absolutely, miraculously, nothing. of course, it's always hidden under the pretext of "relaxing." but then i quickly feel shameful at the close of my day for being a failure- knowing fully i could've accomplished so many things that will only haunt me all the more tomorrow. but this day wasn't going to be like those days.

it was an excellent day...
-to plan a dinner menu for the week.
-to take the time to double-check my assortment of spices & vitamins before going to the store & buying double. again. (& i'm glad i did too- or i would've had 3-jars of g. ginger).
-to organize my grocery list into sections (produce/dairy/etc).
-to look thru the coupon book (why is my logic always that: "i'm too busy to save money?!") & may i tell you... i saved $60!
-to have a "betty-home-maker" moment & bake cookies for the "Fathers" at my sunday morning meeting. & use my kitchen-aid mixer (that i never use!) which we got for our wedding... which brings a sweet smile to my lips that might not have found itself there had i not made time to bake cookies.
-to walk to town & browse pegasus- the local bookstore.
-to notice the air buzzing with bugs that sound like maraca's.
-to take a cat-nap in our hammock.
-to notice the warm breeze that wraps around me like a blanket.
-to be ok with being slow. to take a sunday drive on a saturday. driving behind someone doing 5 mph under the speed limit & thinking thoughts like: "this has no power over me today."

i vow to make an example of this saturday. the bar is now set high.

morning thoughts

the dishes are done. breakfast is over now. i'm stealing a few minutes to write in my journal. the only sound i can hear is the hum of the dehumidifier. i have already watched the sun in shades of hot pink- literally "pink on fire" rise over the ocean. the ocean is smooth- unruffled by surf during this still, quiet hour of day. it's only 7:48 on this saturday morning & yet it feels so very full already.

i've just shared breakfast with my husband & tom, our worker. he wanted old-fashion-oats. this makes me secretly happy because i keep a stash just for occasions like these. it's like the brother worker breakfast of champions- i feel like all the brothers who have stayed with us like their oats & tom confirms this for himself anyway with a simple, "i could eat oats everyday." it makes me smile to think back to my oat-craving-days that coincided with ashlee's. actually more accurately they were my brown sugar days with a little oats mixed in. not gonna lie.

everything seems a little clearer for a moment. having tom stay with us makes me think: "why wouldn't i get up early like this on a saturday morning?" i also understand better why i was feeling pricked about my excessive radio habit. waking up to black eyed peas in my head isn't exactly the most edifying thing to bring to the breakfast table. i'm vowing to work on this. i'm also feeling sorry that i had rented those two movies yesterday. what had seemed like a good idea then, now seems terrible. not that they are "bad" movies- just that it feels like they will taint my state of mind & chase away all these good feelings that i am feeling.

i opened all my shades. all 8 of them in the front of the apartment- something else i never do. but again i'm thinking: "why wouldn't i enjoy soaking up every drop of morning light?" i even turn on every lamp & light every candle. i've never thought about lighting candles in the morning but why not. it suddenly seemed silly not to. i wanted the faint scent of vanilla to blend in with the aroma of my coffee & fill the air of our home. this is my ideal of what cozy smells like. i pick up our guestbook which has been signed by another guest. the thought fills my heart with joy. i'm thinking that probably the biggest compliment that a guest could pay me is that they felt "at home." it thrills me to see that phrase written a couple times.

quiet conversation flows. tom is soft-spoken so even tho i'm not that "loud" of a person i feel like i should turn down my volume. i felt too loud. we talk about the 6-workers (including tom) who are responsible for the entire state of florida. two of these which are not fully able anymore. it breaks my heart. i feel a mix of helplessness & desperation. i know in that moment that i must pray harder. the florida staff is also expected to help in the caribbean, specifically the bahamas & cayman islands. so kayla & irene who labor in miami are there for 6-weeks helping. even tho it means stretching even thinner- it's exciting to hear that 7-9 new people are showing up consistently at gospel meetings there right now. i am more aware of growth & new interest here (in florida) than i ever have been before.

i am so thankful for this wonderful morning.

a wonderful state of mind.

maddening day. feeling too tired for yoga, thinking maybe i'll just skip tonight. curious conversation about the rationale of some people. a flood of phone calls & texts about michael jackson. suddenly feeling an urgent need to go to yoga. racing out one door & walking into a different door- feeling too aware of my own edginess in a calm room. yet feeling the feeling of deliverance, knowing fully this next hour & a half will chase the day out of my conscious mind. beginning to feel mindful again. beginning to take hold of a quiet mind again. being aware of my own breath; practicing the art of breathing from the bottom of my belly. inhaling calm. exhaling worries. building stamina. smiling thru the pain that hurts so good. observing less restricted flexibility. keeping my satisfaction covert, but seriously wanting to jump up & down & scream at the top of my lungs. exchanging mutual looks of "omiword-if-she-thinks-i-can-do-that-she-has-lost-her-mind." leaving class hand in hand. being greeted by pleasant, mild, warm evening air. listening to XM 72- the spa channel. continuing this feeling of bliss. driving with the windows down, warm breezes playing with my hair. home. knowing all good things must come to an end, still the feeling doesn't leave. it stays all night. it turns euphoric. i feel dizzy with pleasure. everything is funny & requires dancing. a surprise phone call late into the night plants the joy a little deeper still. company is coming! a frantic scramble to clean the house. vacuuming in rain boots to michael jackson tunes at top volume guilt free. nobody from our building is home tonight but us. feeling tears tease my eyes, but never falling- feeling nostalgia. i feel so high on life that my intensity makes my vacuum fall over everytime i use the extension. which makes me crack up. where are my girlfriends at when i need to laugh like we're in middle school!? suddenly needing to make key-lime bars at 11:30 at night. & even when i woke up this morning... this feeling lingered. i keep thinking, why do i feel like this!? but mostly wanting to not question it & just soak it up. every single last minute.

outdoor livin

i do NOT know what these are- they look like grasshoppers on steroids & they're way too common for my personal comfort. this dude was even bigger in person too. tupac has joined us. he insisted on this.

my evie.
this picture fascinates me- i seriously hope that little one is getting a piggy-back ride vs. the other mating option which means more of these horrifying creatures will exist.

it might not look like it, but this is his excited face. he spotted a helicopter=)

i love the kid jumping in mid-air behind us.

aidan is a very cautious little man- so this is HUGE to be out here together like this. last time he clung to the rock wall & wouldn't come near the water.

i would say it's "sunny season" but the sunshine is surprisingly annoying in it's persistence in pretty much every season here in florida (at least for a seattle girl anyway). anyway it is hot, that much is unique for this season. i wasn't prepared to take the kids to the beach yesterday but the water just seduced me clothes & all. it was like luke-warm bath water. (not as common as you'd hope in a tropical location) & to top it off there was a pod of dolphins probably less then 100-feet out from us. i like to think that i was swimming with dolphins. i'm feeling giddy just remembering- it was as perfect as a summer day can get.

early bird gets the satisfaction

i am not an early bird. so this post is less about a picture, and more about the fact that it was taken at 5:45 AM. i was up to catch a glimpse of the shuttle launch that i didn't know had been cancelled the evening before. once your up it's hard to not to be in love with the quiet - the calm - that comes hand-in-hand with this hour of the day. it feels like you & the aroma rising from the cup of coffee in your hand are the only things that exist for a moment.

blue.

we've been wanting to try this restaurant a few miles south of us for awhile now. now we wonder why we waited so long. it's an early 1900's home that's expanded into a hotel & restaurant. you can dine outside on the wrap around porch & watch the ocean or you can sit inside the parlour room. i love all things vintage so couldn't resist the parlour complete with authentic antiques. & we had it to ourselves for most of our evening. i probably don't have to convince you that the food was divine. spicy carmelized pecan salad, hawaiian rib-eye steak & key-lime pie with a homemade crust. if my finger looks funny it is- i dragged my coffee pot across the counter with my middle finger, not realizing it was on. don't do that.

with hurricane season official, our afternoon thunderstorms roll in almost like clockwork. the cloud formations & color changes fascinate me. i love the strip of jade green in the middle of the ocean.

stronger.

watching someone's love story unravel is unsettling, it makes us search for little ways to strengthen our vows. i was inspired by an idea from my whole living magazine (a new favorite i warmed up to because of ash). the object is to write down a few words on a piece of paper everytime you feel thankful for something your partner does, small or big & then begin each new week by reading them aloud together. it feels good.

S.C.

we took a little detour into south carolina that left us wanting more. we found the ocean on hilton head island- it had perfect sand for riding bikes & writing messages.

stroll #3

our last day for exploring. the day started with a quick breakfast of vanilla lattes, mango smoothies & a peach cobbler pastry for zane's tummy. then we caught a 90-minute trolley tour that was very informative & a nice break for our feet. we got off the trolley & walked along the east side of river street; ate lunch at an old pirate hang-out, window-shopped & walked some more. i can't get over all the textures in this place.

HB

i'm 22!

stroll #2

we walked our hearts out. got lost & loved every minute. stopped at six pence pub for supper. found out the next day a movie with julia roberts (something to talk about) was filmed there. also found the steeple in the beginning credits of forrest gump (the feather part..) walked thru a cemetery- found "button's" gravestone- he was a declaration of independence signer. & found some of the funny grave stones that were vandalized. some amusing math.