An ode to mail

so i was in organize mode this weekend.

the zac brown band tagged along as i sorted thru dozens of cards i (we) have received over the years.

i am NOT sentimental in pretty much all cases except when it comes to cards. i guess i just believe that when you take the time to write someone a note it has to be from the heart, and thats pretty special.

i found quite a collection in my posession.

Like all my letters from Harry - a dear friend who doesnt know who i am anymore.  ill never forget the hours he sat with me in roberts basement and comforted me in the battle of my life.  it was these letters (+ emails) that kept us connected when life took us too far away to meet over coffee.

i came across the few letters my Dad wrote, dating back  to 2004.  i couldnt read those this time- i knew id just cry, but ill always be glad we made that connection when we did. it was perfect timing.

then i came across the infamous love note from brigita, my fellow barista from starbucks, written on curious george stationary to zane.  it will always bring giggles & be treasured.

And there are the postcards that remind us of loved ones enjoying their adventures. one from my brother when he was in D.C. startled me. i had completely forgotten he'd gotten to go there. wow.

then there are the m a n y gift explanations between ash, lace & i- they never fail to make me lol. Example: "3. Gum- yeah itll probably be gross but who doesnt like trying new flavors? besides its always good to have some kind of gross gum to give people when they ask, right?"

I have every note ever received from Lori- Landon's Mom. i chose not to re read those too.  but still- its such a comfort to have tangible evidence of my babys growth over the years- to feel somehow included is priceless.

I have many of the thank yous written to us from Mom + the kids- understanding fully they were very influenced by our mother, but theyre still so sweet. Also love to see all the cards Mom has made with her hands and her heart- knowing the joy she gets from her creations.

Then there are the St. Patricks Day cards.  It makes me smile that my friends + family have indulged me over the years because i had decided a long time ago that march 17th was my favorite holiday.

Everytime someone has reached out & said "hey, im thinkin about you" it has stamped an impression on my heart & im grateful.

love letters between z & i over the years.



I miss you already...

...& i'm not even gone!

If you go away, then I go away too

or if I stay home, you send me a postcard.
You don't just say, "well see you around sometime, bye."
I like you a lot because of that.
If I go away, I send you a postcard too.
And I like you because if we go away together, and if we are in Grand Central Station, and if I get lost, then you are the one that is yelling for me.

-an excerpt from "I Like You" by Sandol Stoddard Warburg



An ode to my love

On Sunday he turns 23.


It will be the 5th birthday we’ve shared together now as ‘lover’ & ‘lovee’ & tho he’s been my man for all of these past five birthdays, it’s been in these past 365 days that I’ve seen him really grow into his role as The Man, more so than any other year before. (And not just because you can officially grow a legitimate moustache!)


It makes my heart want to burst with pride to see him so comfortable in this role he was born for. (Plus I happen to know the cost that he’s paid for it- and it wasn’t cheap).


This man shows me unconditional love by staying true to his vows "for better or for worse." He showed me that even when we hit rock bottom that we can come back stronger than ever. He shows me what safe arms feel like when my heart is too heavy to carry on my own. This man goes to bat for his family when it feels like it’s us against the world. This man understands my limitations when I tell him I just can’t. He is the warm body that is almost impossible to peel away from every morning when my work day starts before his. His is the cheek that I want to make-out with when he’s sound asleep & I have to say goodbye. He has the voice I want to hear on the other end of the line. He’s the man that brings me lunch when I haven’t eaten all day & I can’t leave work. He’s the one that takes the dogs out when I deem that it’s too dark & scary (& ‘snake-y’) to go out on my own. He’s the handyman that puts together my bookshelves & hangs my pictures, even when he’s tired from working all day. He’s the one that laughs at all the same things I laugh at (like certain unfortunate accidents involving segweys). He’s the one that I want to have all my adventures with, and any new experience doesn’t feel complete until he’s tried it too. He’s the only man I want to discuss baby names & house designs with.


It was a tough year, but thanks for helping us be tougher.  You're my favorite. 

Some People...

Dearest Mr. Maintenance Man:

I would preeeeeefer if you didn't leave the leaky hose running all night long.  And that nasty bucket of dirty bleach water which overflowed all over the back hallway floor?  Also not cool.

Anyway thanks for the new pair of shoes that the boss man said you're going to buy me.  I appreciate it!

Sincerely,
Moi

And then thru the course of a getting-to-know-you conversation with the new personal trainer, i tell him that i am married. 

His next question? 

"So do you guys live together?"

Umm... yah. That would be affirmative.

SO HOW IS YOUR SATURDAY GOING?? =)



Week 1

Well week 1 is coming to a close in this installment of our house adventure.  It hardly warrants a post, but I shall do one anyhow. 

The title company received our documents officially on tuesday, which is a major step.  And as far as we know they have since passed the documents onto Sun Trust Bank who holds our ultimate fate. 

In the meantime we've been 'home loan shopping' with Bank of America.  We are on a first name basis with Amy-the-loan-officer.  She crunches numbers & asks for lots of personal information that is annoying to obtain.  But she tells us nice things like, "your credit totally rocks."  And then she bursts our bubbles & says things like "your year-to-date income is too high for the mortgage revenue bond loan."  Of course that's the loan we've been crossing our fingers for- the one that allows for 100% financing and zero down. 

It's always bittersweet playing these numbers games.  Sometimes you wish you could shake them & say, "yes- this is the take home number & that's a very pretty number, BUT (& it's a big one) these are the bills i'm responsible for & heeeeey lookie here- there is nothing left over!!"  But they see what they want to see.  So we play on.

Now it's penny pinching time- something really hard for the Rathbuns.  We tend to live by the saying: "Work hard, play harder."  But now play-time seems to be on hold.  We tell ourselves that this is what grown-ups do, so maybe we should step it up.  Part of that means having new conversations with our homeowner friends about their favorite fencing & flooring companies. I mean I get REALLY into these types of conversations now. 

And a note on penny-pinching.  I have a funny story.  As you know mi amiga Renee is getting married next month & I have been helping as much as I can from here (which is not a lot) but something that I could do was call the Costco Flower Request Line & order roses- 10-dozen to be exact.  

So the other night Zane & I are sitting in bed talking about our days & without giving him any of the above background information I say:

"guess what?" 

He says: "what?" 

I say: "I ordered 120 white roses today." 

He totally calmly says: "for what?"

I say: "for our bedroom." 

AND WHAT DOES HE SAY?!

"Kay."   That's all.  Just a sweet little resigned "kay."

Umm..... are you serious?  You would be okay with this!???  

We're still laughing about it.  What a kooky sweet guy i'm in love with.

Anyway now we're feeling even more patient when it comes to waiting for Sun Trust to sign off their approval (which they will!) because the longer they wait, the longer we have to save for some kind of down payment. 

On a sidenote we asked the Magic 8-Ball at Cracker Barrel today if we would get the house, I mean, one can never be too sure.  And the Magic-8-Ball's reply?  

"Positively."

So if Sun Trust tries to pull any funny business, we can be like, "but the Magic-8-Ball said!!!!!!" & they'll be like...

"Well I mean if the Magic-8-Ball said................" 

& then we'll live happily ever after on Forsythe Lane.

P.S. We consigned our ginormous bedroom furniture yesterday because in our new house (<===you like that positive energy i'm spewing into the universe? i do!) we won't need it.  The movers will pick it up tuesday morning.  How exciting!  & for those who are thinking that we are being overly optimistic?  We tried to sell this stuff over a year ago when we moved to this condo we're in now, but Craig's List wasn't having it.  So this is not out of the blue.  It was a major lesson learnt.  Before you purchase pretty furniture- take measurements.  Make sure it will fit under ceiling fans & not swallow up an entire bedroom whole.  Those are good things to be noted. 

Anyhoo.  Since our bedside tables were doubling as our dressers (yah, they're pretty large, like i said.) We have packed all our undies & socks & tee-shirts into plastic boxes.  It kinda feels like we're in the process of moving already, and i LIKE it!!!  & our bedroom suddenly feels HUUUUUGE.  i like that too.

A LONG post about what I want to remember about our first experiences with house hunting

Zane has always been the ringleader when it comes to all things related to the Rathbun's owning a house someday.  He was the one to call Jeff - our realtor neighbor next door.  He was the one to talk to all his co-workers who are also part-time realtors, and exhaust them on their local-housing-market knowledge, and he was always the one to use his days off to look at houses with Jeff.  He was a one-man show for sure. 

One particular month, February I believe, he became obsessed with this cycle for weeks & weeks. 

All the while, I accompanied him to places here & there that he had found, and that had stuck out to him.  With each new house that he showed me I became more & more frustrated with the process. All I could see was a ton of work- and at the time we were looking well over our appropriate budget, so I was seeing an overwhelming amount of $ signs.  Plus- I wasn't even really onboard with committing to being tied to Palm Coast for an unknown # of years.  So it became this really touchy subject.  Not to mention plenty of other drama going on in our lives at this point.

Zane was frustrated with me for being 'too picky' and I was frustrated with him because he was pushing me into something that felt so wrong to me.  I'm really big on feelings, maybe to a fault, but if I don't walk thru the front door & feel a connection with the house, I can't even begin to commit to it. 

Plus we were under this dreadful deadline to find a house by a certain date in order to take advantage of the 'Obama-first-time-homebuyer's-tax-credit' before it expired, so it was just this ridiculous rush to try to make a decision.

We finally did find a nice house at the very top of our budget in a nice neighborhood.  It would not have required any work except for personal cosmetic changes we'd want to make in time.  So it was at this point that I gave into Zane, mostly because I wanted to make this go away.  No more talking about houses & using every spare moment to look at houses! 

We made an offer. 

It was rejected. (Divine intervention if you ask me).

Finally Zane saw the light.  We would either a). have to buy a crappy house that would need a ton of work or b). buy a decent house that would eat every single penny we'd make, so he agreed to let it take a backseat.  I was thrilled to let it dissolve from Zane's agenda.

Meanwhile... our life blows up because of other issues going on, and we s l o w l y begin to pick up the pieces over the next few months. 

Fast forward to today where we are stronger then ever. 

Zane approaches the topic again last month; We talk in depth. 

Basically I promise to give it a fair chance if he promises to drop the pressure.  It's a deal. 

A phone call was made that day to Jeff, and within days Jeff & Zane are happy house-hunters again.  He said it was funny we called when we did because he'd just been thinking about us. 

I told Zane upfront that I didn't want any involvement whatsoever until he's truly excited about something.  Also this time around, the 'Obama tax break' had expired & our budget has been reassessed, and because time is not an issue- short sales & foreclosures are now valid options.

It's amazing what a difference 5-months can make.

We had an experience right off the bat that made me think, "Oh crap, here we go again" as far as stress is concerned.  Zane fell in love with this one house- enough to want me to rush from work in St. Augustine between shifts.  It turns out Jeff had mixed up two houses that were only a few blocks apart, had similar street names & were both '19's.'  It was a difference of $56K so that was a blow for sure. 

But then it all changed & the stars aligned for the Rathbun's. We both got Tuesday off (this is a big deal) so we set up an afternoon appointment with Jeff who promised to gather some more listings for us.  

Enter the pale yellow house on Forsythe Lane. It's this delightful cute-as-a-button ranch-style home with overgrown hedges that need trimmed.  On a sidenote I've always had a soft spot in my heart for addresses with "Lane" in them- it's a word that conjures up charming images for me.   The front yard at the very least needs to get familiar with a sprinkler & lawn mower, but it has wonderful potential. 

As soon as you walk thru the front door you're showered with bright, light, airy living space.  It's a totally open floor plan - the living room, kitchen & eating area all flow together. 

It's tiny at 1,041 square feet of living space- and as much as we've enjoyed having the luxury of a third bedroom at our current apartment, it's not a necessity.  Instead we can trade in for a big backyard full of potential for barbequing & tons of space for the dogs, and also enough space for 1-car in the garage & even some storage space.  All would be a first for us- minus those 3-months we got in Pasco where we did indeed get a taste of garages & backyards.

The kitchen appliances made us giggle.  We're pretty sure they must be original to the house which was built in 1979.  They're lovely shades of mustard yellow & chocolate brown.  The microwave itself is comically huge.  It's the biggest hunk of housing for electromagnetic waves i've ever seen- I mean I think I could host a sleepover inside of it.  What's funny is that all the appliances are in great condition- you could tell me they were purchased this year (i mean, if this was 1979) because they're that clean. 

The house is all tile- very attractive to certain care-takers of certain dogs who sometimes think waiting to go outside is overrated. 

The master bath is reminiscent of our first house in Pasco- outdated but in good condition & totally functional. 

So we leave the house & Jeff says: "Well put a big red star next to that one!"  And we did.

Three houses & 2-hours later, we both agree this is by far our favorite house we've seen yet, so we ask Jeff if we might be able to take one more quick peek.  And that second entrance solidified it for us.  We couldn't. stop. smiling. 

Within two days & several phone calls later, formal papers were drawn up, and we made an official offer. 

Jeff called me at work to see if i could sign 'the papers.'  It was surreal.  I wasn't just reacting- i was really there inside that moment thinking, 'Wow, so this is what grown-ups feel like!"

Within hours I got a call from Zane saying Jeff had dropped by the seller's office to present the offer, and she had signed it immediately.  Her parting words were, "whatever it take to get this monkey off my back."   Sweet, sweet words!!  (Long story short, she had bought this house for her son who ended up not moving to the area, and then she rented it out & had 1 nightmar-ish tenant, and said 'forget it'- so her frustration is our gain!)

Another email from Jeff last night.  Everything about this is such a process, but this time, it's been rather enjoyable.  The email says that the title company has the necessary documents- they just need one last signature from us, and then it can be turned over to the bank for approval. 

And then the waiting game continues... The bank is supposed to answer within 45-days, so we could possibly know if the house belongs to us by November 5th.  But it is a short sale, and that brings all sorts of complications.  Why are they called 'short sales' when they are anything but!?

Regardless, I have only positive feelings about this whole thing.  I think that if we can be patient *which we totally can* that it will be ours sometime in 2011. 

I like taking steps towards being a grown up. 

master bedroom

living room

eating area

guest bath

Back on the Road Again

Clumps of land like this one inhabited only by nature dot the water around us. These are mysterious nameless keys- there are 1700 keys!

Miami- love to drive thru city skylines.

Day 3

Day 3- our last chance to see whatever we thought we wouldn't want to miss before we left. 

So i bit it hardcore.  Zane's first words are not "oh baby, are you ok?!" Oh noo... you know what his first words are?  "HAHAH- honey I caught it on camera!"

The southern most house.

look at these two nerdy tourists...

This picture makes me smile.  I remember how overcome with love I was for my husband when I took this photo.  It was one of those waves of pure love that just washes over you for no particular reason, and i just couldn't resist squeezing his cheeks & telling him what a cutie bootie he is.

Bobalu's Cafe. GINORMOUS portions- yummy comfort food.

Day 2

Day two's are always more organized with us.  We decided to take an informative trolley tour to 'get our bearings.' We were so turned around & didn't know which was up + we wanted to learn more about KW. 

When the tour finished we found lunch by default- mostly because it was the closest place we could dash into when the rain started coming down in buckets.  And then it cleared... so we sat down by the water and watched the fishies.  Then we meandered home for an afternoon rest.

-ENTER NAP-TIME-

Multiple people had told us to go to the top of La Concha Hotel because after 3pm it's open to the public & you get 360 degree views from the highest point in KW.  So we did. Then we walked around some more & found a wire artist & he did our 'portraits' yes- out of wire. Meanwhile two kids- 9&12 years old were performing next to him on the street & they were amazing... then Patrick the wire artist told us to go to Mr. Z's for a good cheesesteak. We weren't disappointed.  Locals are the best.  We walked by a sign that read:

“You are here.

N 24˚ 34.3
W 81˚ 45.7
    This is paradise.”

And it was.  3 whole days away from being dependent on clocks, alarms, phones & cars.  Exactly what our hearts had desired.