Zane & I tested out some positive thinking tools i learned a couple months ago at this class. He didn't smirk once - i was so proud of him. We sat knee to knee & looked into each others eyes & repeated two affirmations - short-term goals we want to reach - offering each other support & positive feedback.
-I walked into Almond Blossom Wellness Cafe. Raw-Vegan-Cuisine. Ate there once. Not gonna lie - it was a little too intense for me. I thought maybe I would feel inspired just to be in the presence of such discipline. I lost my nerve tho. I had to walk out in shame -called tom- the yoga coordinator. still waiting for a call back - feeling like a truck hit me - why am i so tired? i feel disgusting. jogged down to 17th- my mile loop of choice - hoping to energize myself. the humidity made me work up quite a sweat. thankful for cool evening breezes coming off the ocean -ran up & down my flight of steps until my thigh muscles turned into jello -200 sit-ups -lots of water -a million stretches - pleased to remember so many from my gymnastics days - determined to be limber enough to do the splits again... zane offering sympathetic glances as he sat on the couch & watched me -cranked out 10 push ups - pathetic i know. collapsed on my beach mat. feeling worn out enough to fall asleep right there on my floor- loving the breeze created by the ceiling fan above me - obviously my hope to get pumped up is not working - no food after 4:30pm - ok minus a few ounces of my pure oj -listened to a few chapters on my audio book -asleep just after 9. fell asleep hard. didn't even hear zane come to bed later. up early again (yes- victory again!) - another jog- realizing the key is to not think too much. if i just get up & go when the thought to go first enters my brain instead of dwelling on how much i don't want to go - it gets done. sit on my back patio to cool off - enjoy a few quiet moments before the majority of the world is awake yet. i actually ate breakfast - a rarity for me. eggs- oj & some yogurt oh & some green tea. call zane to see how work is going so far- discuss what to have for dinner- decide on salad- baked sweet potato fries & corn on the cob- a vegetarian dinner. amusing considering how much we love our meat. looking forward to a chill night. wishing i could skip the work day between then & now. a slow day at la piazza - ok- considering i can't seem to snap out of my sleepy state of mind. feeling like i've been drugged. why can't i wake up!? i totally killed my plan to eat healthy all day - i ate two pieces of crusty bread & di made us mini croissant sandwhiches with bacon, chicken & honey mustard. oh & homemade fries with ketchup of course. darn me & my lack of will power. maybe i'll just have salad tonight- no dressing. tasty.... (& yes i'm being totally sarcastic) -hoping for the energy for another jog in a bit - maybe with my husband, if i can twist him arm? does me being so tired mean something or do i just want it to mean something? love this waiting game... & anyway even if it all turns out to be nothing (for now) at least it's inspiring me to make healthier choices then i was.
ok soooo - you go girl!!! I need some of your motivation to do that much work. So I know I'm not perfect myself, but when I haven't been working out and then I suddenly go all out it completely wears my body out after a couple days and then I end up sore and sleeping and totally worn out...I think it's better to start out slow and work up...push yourself more than normal, but not too hard or it will have an adverse affect on you. And as far as eating goes...you don't have to be perfect! Don't totally deprive yourself...Also if you are all of the sudden exercising more and eating less your body will not have the energy to supply resulting in you being extremely tired and not motivated. YOU are doing great - it's not about your will power...your body just has limits and it will take awhile before you can persay eat and exercise like your yoga instructor. If you go too extreme too fast your steam will run out really quickly. ANYWAYS, I'm done going on about that stuff...Hope things work out!
ReplyDeleteHope you still keep wanting to work out somehow, somewhere, etc. Yes, No, maybe so...life is always up in the air, but if you had all the answers it could get a little boring...now you know a little more than you did when you wrote this post, but don't let it keep you from trying to be healthy, healthy is important for any time or space in your life...you keep it up, it'll pay in the long run.
ReplyDeleteI love how this post makes me feel as if I'm traveling with your thoughts. So you tried vegan?...interesting right? AWESOME, way to go on the active-streak. Thanks for the tip about 'realizing that the key is to just not think to much..I've been using that one a lot lately' For me I have to consciously remind myself that its okay not to be perfect everyday, life is never an all or nothing thing. So often I want to just dive into something full force so the change can be made all at once--but I have to remind myself over and over that, that isn't realistic... that its okay to have homemade fries and croissant sandwiches from time to time. :) It's not all or nothing, even though it feels like it.
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