5.23.2009
i am a woman.
as if i didn't know. psh. apparently i needed a bajillion reminders these past few days because i am just a big ol' bucket of tears lately. so instead of fighting it- i'm embracing it! i've never been one of those excitable people who cry when they are happy but i guess there is one of those people hid deep within me who wants to come out & play. these are just a few moments that come to mind that brought on fresh hot tears threatening to roll down my cheeks. That picture that captures a moment that explains everything without a single word - being on the same page - an email to confirm it -being reminded that sappy is nice once in awhile- that person who was willing to put themselves out there & offer raw honesty -being given fresh perspective -what use to make my heart twist with pain -now makes my heart fill with gratitude for having what i have - a text message received reminding me of how lucky i've been to have these two people in my life choose to love me - kids who need foster parents - even dogs who need foster parents - a music video that ended with this unexpected message "adoption makes dreams come true."- all these thoughts making my heart ache wishing i could scoop up all the needy children in the world & make them ok with my love - a gift received that's 'so me' from someone i love -that song that put into words the feelings i feel but couldn't express - a song that takes you back so suddenly to the past that it stops you cold & you have to indulge in 5-minutes of thinking of some good memories you'd forgotten - a big bear hug that takes me back to 2009 & oh how good my 'now' is - that patch of blue sky after six straight days of rain reminding me again- it can't rain forever -reading about somebody else's happy ending- thinking about how much i love my own. feeling so deeply the fury behind that mother & wife who did what she had to do to protect her own when somebody threatened her family. & i'm just going to surrender to each moment until it passes. i am kind of enjoying my senstivity to the beautiful side of life.
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Glad you're handling it so well...being emotional can be hard and not always come out right! I've been have a great time here...Been going and going...and of course Nicole is always fun to be around...along with the whole strassburg clan! I'm going to Mtn. Ranch today and very much looking forward to it! Last weekend at Mtn. Ranch 1 quite a few people asked about you...both Korwin Rathbun and Tony Chapman came up to me and were like "you're Anna Rathbun's sister!" They asked how you (and Zane) were doing...along with Rus and Ingrid and Kate Osbourne (they were at Apoka this past year - too bad you missed them) and others I can't think of right now. Anyways I'm sure I'm forgetting things to tell you, but I should get going...lots of love!
ReplyDeletep.s. You should get some pictures in your new stuff sometime =)
Anna? Emotional? Noooo...:) Glad you're embracing it though. Seems like a better idea than fighting it.
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