all over the map

"Fragments came floating into his mind like bits of wood drifting down a stream, and he fished them out and fitted them together.” - Elizabeth Gray Vining

i have been conscious of keeping track of all the places my mind goes & writing down my thoughts as they come to me- both big & small , insignificant & profitable. which means i keep a notebook handy at all times. each thought feels like writing a blurb on a postcard to mark all the places i've travelled to during my day.

does anyone else think it's crazy that 2009 is like half over?!

somedays just feel like a constant battle when it comes to reining in my emotions. i can feel one way & say something completely contradictory. things come out so much harsher then i meant them to. are you as sick of me as i am? are you tired of me apologizing for the way i came across? does it help you to know that i hate myself everytime something ugly slips out. it's like a quote i read recently in an article featuring rachel mcadams talking about the novel prodigal summer (which i haven't read for the record) - but she said this: "You know when you just walk into a room, and some days you're just on and somedays you're not? To think it all boils down to hormones & pheromones is a little disconcerting..." Maybe this is just an easy cop-out for me, but i'm kind of hoping it's not just me.

discussing new goals & directions - switching time-lines & priorities. so very exciting. makes my heart race a little & fills my tummy with little butterflies. ready to put it all into action. thinking about a song i heard on the radio today by melissa lawson...

what if that road that you're taking's a dead end
What if love leaves you all jaded and broken
what if that limb breaks you're climbing out on
yeah, what if it all goes wrong?
But, what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right?
What if that road is a beautiful slow drive
what if that love ends up lasting a life time
what if that limb holds you, oak tree strong
what if this time nothing goes wrong...?

looking forward to some time away together. not sure where... north? south? inside florida or outside? we're mostly homebodies but leaning more towards forcing ourselves out of our comfort zone of home- exploring the state - the east coast - seems like time is ticking... how much time do we have left here?

i saw a tee-shirt that made me smile. life is short & so am i.

thankful for urges to go for a jog - even more thankful when i act on these urges & ecstatic when zane agrees to come with me for inspiration. still wanting to try yoga- why am i dragging my feet?? i need to call linda & ask her where & when her class is...

finished my book. mixed feelings. its always satisfying to have the closure- to know the end -but it's sad too. it became a comfortable place to go to & now it's gone. my comfort now is getting to start a new book- loving frank.